English isn't my first language / I am a native English speaker but a shy person...

1.6. Yes ! I can change my mind and it ought to be respected

Whatever was previously agreed, even a respectful way, you have the right, at any time, to withdraw from a situation that suddenly makes you uncomfortable !!

We are fully aware that being shy or not comfortable with speaking in english might put you in difficulties whatever the intensity of your willingness to withdraw after a first agreement and hope it will be respected. Daring to withdraw from an uncomfortable situation that you initially agreed for, can be a difficult challenge!!

We are here to help !!!

Self-care is not selfish. (Credit : Asking what you want https://www.askingforwhatyouwant.com/articles )

When you’ve been taught that your job is to take care of everyone else around you, when you are expected to be responsible for other people’s emotions, when you’re the person in your family who is literally responsible for the survival of everyone else, taking care of yourself may seem selfish. It may seem like you are putting yourself before the family or the community.

But the thing is, self-care is what enables you to continue to be of service to others. It is the precise opposite of selfish. Without self-care, you are not able to continue caring for others.

Remember to.. (adapted from Asking what you want https://www.askingforwhatyouwant.com/articles )

- Eat appropriate amounts of healthy food on a reasonable schedule

- Drink enough water

- Move your body, even if it’s just a few walks a day

- Spend time “sniffing” around your neighborhood and noticing things that can be helpful to make your mind if your consent is about to be required

- Both interact with others and step back to focus on yourself and appreciate that cuddles to yourself and others are important and helpful to calm down and enjoy the present

- Go to bed at a reasonable hour and getting as much sleep as you need.

- Take care of your basic health needs, take your meds on time & use a condom !

- Listening to your body and doing what it tells you it needs

https://www.askingforwhatyouwant.com/self-care-is-not-optional/

The most clear way to withdraw is to say: (partially adapted from https://www.cosmopolitan.co.za/knowyourrights/withdraw-consent-during-sex)

- Please stop.

- I don’t like this

- Can we change position?

- I need a break

What consent requires from all of us to is to be more aware of respect for autonomy and agency of others to say no.’

If you withdrew your consent but are ignored and sexually assaulted, you have the right to report your rape to Malare or any Nomad around and lay a charge.

We need to rethink our attitudes towards consent, and recognise everyone's right to withdraw it at any point : http://www.independent.co.uk/voices/philip-queree-woman-courtcase-breast-touching-consent-sentence-overturned-sexual-assault-a8146426.html

Everybody, comfortable with non violent communication and erotic wording in english is invited here to contribute to link a lexical or add a link to a lexic if you know about some relevant one. The perfect format would be a lexic with each picture of a practice and open suggestions of how one can you can withdraw from a practice, a playfull, joyfull and strong enough way so that is respected.

Next is...

I witnessed a consent violation, what should I do? what shouldn’t I do ?

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