English isn't my first language / I am a native English speaker but a shy person...

1.4. How to get an enthusiastic YES?

Because we are in a international context, there is unfortunately no other best option than SPEAK, express the best you can, your way to define any project you may have launched/accepted with a / several partners.

We are fully aware that being shy or not comfortable with speaking in english, even more about sex, might put you in difficulties whatever the intensity of your willingness to respect his basic safety foundation of any interaction at Nowhere.

The ultimate need to word you desires and check your partner's agreement at any time is a difficult challenge!!

We are here to help !!!

Bedx - Alex Pedori on Consent https://vimeo.com/255188009

A hug is a result not a start (By KreveTTe & Eric Van Lente) : A hug is a result not a start  (11:23)  

Yes/No questions (Credit : Asking what you want https://www.askingforwhatyouwant.com/articles )

Before

Would you like it if…?

Would it please you if…?

Would you enjoy it if…?

Would it rock your world if…?

During

Are you enjoying this?

Do you want more of this?

Is this good for you?

Does this work for you?

Do you want something different?

After

Did you enjoy it when…?

Was it pleasurable to you when…?

Did it work for your when…?

Either/or questions can also help you and your partner figure out which general direction to head in, without having to over-think things or be able to articulate everything in advance.

Do you prefer a firmer or gentler touch?

Do you like it when I move slower or faster?

Do you want sexy snuggles or sleepy snuggles?

Do you want more tongue or less when I kiss you?

Would you like the rope tighter or looser?

Do you want me to be more allowing or more assertive [in this activity]?

Do you like spankings to be more “golf clap” or more “rock concert”?*

Open ended questions can be good to ask during a lull in the action, when something seems to be off-track but you can’t tell what, or during a sexual debrief after sexytimes.

How do you feel about what’s happening right now?

What would rock your world right now?

What would feel good to you right now?

How are you doing?

What’s going on over there?

How would it be for you if…?

How was that to hear?

What’s your level of interest in that?

We wish you now to have fun and experiment with all three kinds of questions until you discover a new standard of sexual satisfaction for you and your partner.

Remember:

- Accepting a no doesn’t mean you have to be happy about it.

- You’re allowed to feel sad, disappointed, angry, etc.

- When you can radically accept boundaries (your own and others’) a space for creating new possibilities opens up that didn’t exist before. - In the long run,

   gracefully accepting other people’s nos builds trust.

8 ways to hear No Gracefully

- I appreciate Knowing where your boundary is.

- Thank You for taking care of yourself

- I am not hearing a clear yes, so I’ll take it as a No

- I'm bummed to hear that, but I'm grateful that I can trust you to say it.

- Sounds good. Do you want me to ask again later ?

- No Problem !

- Awesome !

- I still love you !

Everybody, comfortable with erotic wording in english is invited here to contribute to link a lexical or add a link to a lexic if you know about some relevant one.' The perfect format would be a lexic with each picture of a practice and open suggestions of how one can you ask this practice, a playful, joyful, respectful way

16 ways to talk about consent (that are pretty sexy) https://www.askingforwhatyouwant.com/16-ways-to-talk-about-consent/

27 alternatives to asking "Is this ok ?" https://www.askingforwhatyouwant.com/27-alternatives-to-asking-is-this-okay/

8 ways to here a No Gracefully https://www.askingforwhatyouwant.com/8-ways-to-hear-a-no-gracefully/

Next is...

How can I enforce my No if the harasser isn't giving up?

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